A man came home from work one day to find his wife on the front porch with her bags packed.

‘Just where the heck do you think you’re going!’, said the man.

‘I’m going to Las Vegas, said the wife, ‘I just found out I can get $400 a night for what I give you for free!

‘The man said, ‘Wait a minute!’, and then ran inside the house only to come back a few minutes later with his suitcases in hand.

‘Where the heck are you going?’, said the wife.

The man said, ‘I want to see how you’re gonna live on $800 a year!’

A lawyer, who had a wife and 12 children
A lawyer, who had a wife and 12 children,
needed to move because his rental agreement was terminated by the owner, who wanted to reoccupy the home.

When he said he had 12 children, no one would rent a home to him because they felt that the children would destroy the place.

So he sent his wife for a walk to the cemetery with 11 of their kids.

He took the remaining one with him to see rental homes with the real estate agent.

He loved one of the homes and the price was right. The agent asked, “How many children do you have?”

He answered, “Twelve.”

The agent asked, “Where are the others?”

The lawyer, with his best courtroom sad look, answered, “They’re in the cemetery with their mother.”

MORAL: It’s not necessary to lie; one has only to choose the right words.