Weddings are meant to celebrate love, but they can also bring unexpected stress—especially when money is involved. A recent Reddit story has sparked intense debate after a New York father questioned whether he was wrong for refusing to pay for his daughter’s extremely expensive dream wedding. The father had long promised to cover his daughter’s wedding costs, believing it was part of supporting her as she began married life.

That promise was tested when he learned her plans involved a lavish destination wedding in New Zealand with a jaw-dropping price tag of $200,000. Shocked by the cost, he admitted the expense felt like “burning money” and worried it would exclude family members who couldn’t afford international travel or didn’t have passports. Torn between wanting to make his daughter happy and feeling the request was excessive, the father turned to Reddit’s “Am I the A*****e” forum for advice.

Many users sided with him, calling the expectation unreasonable and pointing out the burden it placed on both him and potential guests. Others raised practical concerns, such as who would pay for travel and accommodations. The father reflected that he may have unintentionally fueled his daughter’s expectations by shielding her from financial struggles growing up.

One popular suggestion offered a compromise: contribute only what he was comfortable paying and allow the daughter to plan within that budget. The situation highlights the difficult balance parents face between generosity and financial responsibility—and leaves many asking what they would do in his place.